Admittedly, sometimes, regardless of alllll my training and education in the human behaviour space and all the work I’ve done, I’m a bit of a “catastrophiser”.
(Yes, catastrophise is a word. Using it as an adjective to describe myself may not be.)
For example, “Oh, so and so hasn’t been in touch with me for three days. They mustn’t like me anymore. Maybe they’re reconsidering the friendship? Oh Gawd, maybe they’ve already cut me off.”
“Oh, I haven’t gotten back to so and so when I said I would. Oh dang it, they’re going to think the worst of me. I think the worst of me. Heck, I’m a terrible person. You might as well shoot me right now!”
“I really didn’t do that job as well as it called for. Really, that was poor standards in my book. Oh, oh, I’m getting fired FO SHAW.”
What have you noticed about these examples? I’m making them about ME. I’m taking sh*t so personally and making myself the subject of unnecessary drama, dutifully concocted by my own mind thank you very much.
Can anyone relate?
Have you been guilty of doing this yourself, even just a little?
Rationality and logic can only be your friends here.
But how do we get to that place? How do we enter a different part of the brain that requires unemotional thought?
We need to ask ourselves really relevant questions such as,
“Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot, what would that person think of me?” (Chances are your answer would be far kinder.)
“If someone did that to me, what would I think of them?” (Chances are you’d cut them a heap more slack!)
“Do I actually KNOW, for sure, that this is going to occur OR am I only guessing? What is the evidence that this is going to end this way?” (Chances are, you actually have none.)
And remember this;
Noone’s thinking about you as much as what you think they are. Besides, what they think is none of your business.
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