I teach some university classes throughout the year. I am privileged to cultivate others learning. I do that in coaching and I do that in teaching. I just adore it.
I was marking exams a little while ago (this is not one of the parts of that gig that I adore – I think it’s a perfunctory way to learn. But that might be another topic for another blog) and whilst doing so, noticed something that I said to myself;
“If you get to the end of these exams, you can reward yourself by going to the bathroom.”
Really? Really?! I was going to reward myself by relieving the pressure on my bladder?!
Does anyone else see something intrinsically wrong with this?
My reward was actually relieving myself of punishment. I was motivating myself by avoiding pain rather than seeking pleasure.
I’ve touched a little on speaking into exactly what it is that we want before. (Read it here.)
However, this runs a little deeper. This, for me, is about the message that we’re sending ourselves with regards to achievement and what comes from it.
How do we decide to reward ourselves for a job well done? How do we decide to reward ourselves for achieving success? Do we even do this at all? Some would argue my example above is not rewarding one’s self at.all. AT.ALL.
So let’s try this again.
If I finish x amount of exams by lunch time, I will reward myself with a cup of peppermint tea and a piece of dark chocolate alongside my already healthy meal that I would normally be eating at lunch.
How’s that? Rewards must be additional, they must be extra, they must be a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ sweeter then what we’re already “allowing” ourselves. Otherwise, how are you going to stay motivated?
Worse still, how are you going to feel if you don’t finish the exams and have to go to the bathroom anyway!? 😉 We must also ensure that we’re being realistic with what we’re aiming to achieve. Am I aiming to mark far too many exams in the time I’m giving myself? Only I’m going to know what that feels like, just as you are. Here’s a hint; if you’re consistently missing the mark, you’re being too hard on yourself. And what feeling does that give you? Resentment and just all round yuckiness, that’s what. So, loosen the reigns a little. You deserve it.
And to those who might not be rewarding themselves at all; what are you working for if you’re not seeing/feeling or touching something tangible? Make sure you do things for yourself incrementally. When you tick off something massive, do something massive for yourself too! Otherwise you’re guaranteed to look back and say, well, what’s it all for?
What tips do you have for rewarding yourself? Let us know in the comments below!
With love
Lynda
PS. If you like what I have to say or think someone else could benefit from this humble little blurb, feel free to ‘like it’ or ‘share it’
PPS. Thank you for allowing me to share my little quirks with you. I hope they serve to help… or at the very least, give you a giggle.
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