My buttons have been severely pushed recently.
I’ve been faced with new working scenarios and with that comes new personalities.
And with that comes different expectations.
Recently, someone spoke to me in a less then desirable manner. I think they forgot they were dealing with someone that was human.
This was a test as to whether I can successfully hold my own and ensure my boundaries remain in tact.
A sure fire way to tell if my boundaries have been pushed is when I feel extended. I feel off balance. I feel that I have given far too much.
The other way to tell is if I am consistently revisiting scenarios in my mind, wishing they had played out differently.
(Have a think about yours while you’re reading.)
If this occurs, I realise that it’s my responsibility, my choice, to continue in this way or not.
I had a choice with this said person; I could let it slide and risk them registering in their mind that it was ok to speak to me that way OR I could confront them about it, letting them know that it was not ok and that we needed to find another way to communicate, potentially drawing a line in the sand and absolutely taking a stand for the way I wish to be treated.
I chose the later.
And it scared the sh*t outta me.
Why? Because that means I am risking more chastising. That means I am risking confrontation. That means I am risking the relationship.
But… I’m more important than all of that, aren’t I?
Aren’t you?
So, I put on my big girl panties and summoned the courage to have a conversation.
And surprisingly, it went better then I thought.
And wonderfully, our relationship is stronger with these newly established rules in place.
Evidence that, a) confronting situations is never going to be as bad I think and b) it’s worth it. The rewards on the other side can be beautifully unexpected.
So, in sum;
Monitor yourself for when your boundaries have been pushed – are recurring thoughts an indication or does your body tell you? Become aware of when your lines have been crossed.
Play out the positive results of confronting the situation instead of focussing on the possible negatives. As I say above, the rewards other side can be far greater.
Take the stance, regardless of whether you think it’s ridiculous in your mind or not. It’s important to express ourselves instead of swallowing our feelings. Swallowing our feelings means we’re storing unexpressed emotion and that can have other repercussions. (Did you know that holding onto anger is acid forming in the body? An environment where cancer can thrive.)
When taking the stance, be ecological in your approach. TALK about it and own your feelings by using ‘I’. Remember the way you feel is your responsibility. You choose to feel this way. Blame will only inflame. (Oh I like that rhyme! Clever me, just thought of that ;-))
How do you stop your buttons from being pushed?
With love
Lynda
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