Earlier this week I suggested how to handle other’s expectations.
Now I’d like to flip this on its head.
Have you thought about how to handle your own?
It has come to light that I may be being slightly (just slightly) unrealistic when it comes to setting goals within my business and even when it comes to my relationships. (Did I say slightly? *wink*)
It is no secret that I have tended to be an all or nothing kinda girl.
I look ahead, striving for the big goals and bright future, that I gloss over just what is happening in the present – things that might serve me had I not had my ‘expectation blinkers’ on.
Sometimes these ‘expectation blinkers’ cause us to have tunnel vision. And having tunnel vision means we are possibly missing out on other opportunities.
I was just with a client yesterday who reflected this behaviour right back to me. She had set some big goals for the end of 2015, however, she had neglected to include any milestones even remotely small in the beginning and middle.
When I pointed this out (at the same time thinking, oh, this is me right here), she realised that the little wins she could possibly be having may be overlooked because her ‘goals’ (code for expectations) wouldn’t allow her to stop and enjoy the roses along the way.
This is kinda turning into a ‘just enjoy the journey, man’ blog. (Which is totally valid!)
But it’s also a reminder to us all to make room to alter our expectations.
There are ways we can do this;
Incrementally check in; Whenever you’re travelling along, aiming for the next big thing, remember to incrementally check in. For example, if you’ve aimed for a year’s time on something, set yourself a timeframe to check in every 3 months and determine just how that’s tracking. (Although I may be talking largely about aims in life here, this actually works in relationships too. How many times do you think something is bubbling along ok without checking in?)
Readjust where necessary; This goes hand in hand with the above. When you check in at those incremental points, ensure you’re adjusting your goals too! If there’s something that’s popped up along the way, new information which no one could have predicted, or your strategy simply isn’t working, change the direction or path or goal. You know that old Einstein saying, if you do the same thing, you’ll get the same results.
Detach from your final goals; I am a coach, so it’s part of the gig that aiming for your goals and dreams becomes part of my MO. Buuuuuttt, there’s a tiny bit of Buddhist in me which realises that the more we desire, the more we strive, the more we fight, the more resistance shows up on some things. Perhaps something greater is guiding our hand to something even better then what we never thought possible? As Buddha says, happiness is being free from desire. It’s all about balance here.
Get some retrospect; For Pete’s sake – celebrate! Look back at what you’ve achieved and celebrate the wins and give yourself a high five (or something so much better) for meeting even the littlest things along the way. (Even in relationships, celebrate the end of the week together with a meal!) It can be soooooo simple but people don’t take time to relish in the ordinary. And we should because, after all, from the ordinary acts come the extraordinary.
Treat it as an experiment; Finally, look at life as just one big FAT experiment… because it sure is.
Think you might have some great expectations? Let us know how you handle them in the comments below! Our community would love to hear from you.
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