How is that intention setting going? Have you noticed a difference? Doesn’t intention setting give you a real taste of designing your life as opposed to it being handed to you?
If you don’t decide what direction you’re headed, outside forces will decide for you.
Those outside forces could be your parents, your boss, your current job. Anything that is not you.
Speaking of parents, my students got me on my soap box on Tuesday. (Even as a coach, I have one of those at times. I only whip it out on special, special occasions.)
So many of my students are studying accountancy or marketing or management because it’s what is expected. When they tell me what degree they’re studying, I always ask them why. I always ask them what drew them to it. They’re fine degrees and if there’s a passion for numbers or creating products, I want to hear it! These are the stock standard responses I receive; “Because it will get me a good job”, “Because it will make me lots of money”, or, and this is my favourite, “My parents are paying for the course so I do what they tell me to do… I dunno”.
You don’t know? You don’t know?!
You don’t know why you’re spending the next three years of your life, slogging your guts out, working on countless assignments, holding down a part time job (often with full time hours), maintaining a social life and some sleep in amongst all that? You D.O.N.’.T K.N.O.W.?
I always ask them what they would like to do instead and the difference is astounding. They want to chef or be in film and television or build computer games.
It’s always something they don’t think they’re entitled to do. They don’t think they have a right to even attempt to go down that path. They’ve been conditioned to think that those are the things that aren’t going to get them a “good” job, a lot of money or the stamp of approval from their parents.
And you, now, reading this, you may not be a student, but is there an expectation someone has placed on you that you are now living out under obligation?
I did that too.
I would like to add this disclaimer; this is sooooo not a dig against parents. They are often playing out other’s expectations of them, and societal norms. They are doing the best they can. They are. So don’t blame them.
Here’s the clincher – your parents – who are older then you – probably aren’t going to be here for the rest of your life. And when you’re living they’re life when they’re gone – when they’ve no longer got influence over you – how do you think you’re going to feel then?
When you’re on your cloud at the end of it all, what do you want your life to have looked like? Their version or yours?
With love
Lynda
PS. If you like what I have to say or think someone else could benefit from this humble little blurb, feel free to ‘like it’ or ‘share it’.
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